Some more memories

A few scraps from a disintigrating mind.

No matter how hard I try I can't organise my memories of college into a chronological order, does anybody else have this problem? The JCR was the hub of the college for most of it's denizens and was particularly busy at certain times in the day. The mid-morning break being one. Our daytime activities revolved around the pinball machine,which some of us became quite expert on and the table football. There were some prodigious talents at this game. Jim Parkin was a wonderful defender who was almost impossible to get the ball past and Mike Wenn incredibly dextrous as an attacker. He would juggle the ball between his front row of players before a deft flick of his wrist would whip it into the goal faster than the eye could follow. I remember once after Mike Owen, a huge bloke, had been playing the bars were bent such was the pressure he applied to them. There was also an occasion when Jim Parkin had hit a shot so ferociously that the ball broke the glass on the table top. (You can find a picture of the table footie on Rag Lags.) I can remember the Art department decided we could display our plaster sculptures in the JCR and we proudly placed them on a high shelf on the wall. Strangely my sculpture got shattered but remained on display and nobody noticed the difference! In the evenings the JCR came to life as the bar opened. I cannot remember all the bar chairmen but I think Jim Parkin was in charge at first and then was superseded by Mike Wenn. The beer was supplied by Wadworths and was one and twopence a pint although we frequently drank Guinness or even black velvet. One night Mike Owen had been on a bender and collapsed stone cold on the floor. An ambulance was called and the equivalent of the paramedics came in and decided they would need to take him to hospital for a stomach pump to clear out the twenty odd pints he had. However they just couldn't lift him he was so heavy. Eventually several of the rugby club plus the two ambulancemen staggered out the JCR with Mike precariously balanced on a stretcher. He must have been OK though as he was around college a few days later. Sunday night was disco night and we all gathered for a beer and to let our hair down. Extremely popular with the dancers was the Dave Clark Five's Glad All Over. The chorus went, 'Baby I'm, stomp stomp, glad all over'. On the stomping bits the whole of the JCR would be shaking to people jumping up and down and bar staff frantically held onto glasses and bottles as they leapt from the tables. Eventually the record was banned as it was thought too dangerous. Frankie Guard and John Thompson would usually turn up as guests of the rugby club, in fact they were virtually college members they spent so much time in the place. Tim Whiteford remembers a car being placed in the JCR but I have no memory of that event. Of course all of this cost money and it was a struggle to make one's grant stretch to accommodate one's pleasures. I had two ways of supplementing my grant. The first involved Phil (Bertie) McLennan who was a keen student of the geegees. He was in fact so good that some of us used his tips and managed to increase our grants threefold. His main claim to fame was tipping Foinavon in the 1967 Grand National, it came home at 100 to 1 and there was much celebrating done. The second way I augmented my income was by taking a part-time job that Chris Parker found for me. It involved dee-jaying at the Globetrotter's Strip Club on the Whiteladies Road, (opposite the BBC), two nights a week. I was employed to play records between acts and to play the discs that the strippers used in their performance. This also involved my having to open and close the curtains on the tiny stage and deal with any troublemakers. The closing of the curtains was important as we were still in the era of, 'if it moves it's rude', so on completing their strip the girls would hold a position whilst I rapidly closed the curtains. On a couple of occasions they became jammed and the lady performers began hissing at me to get them drawn using some pretty filthy language. Fortunately my role as a 'bouncer' was not often called for and when it was it was usually to persuade some rat-arsed sailor to desist from trying to join the stripper on stage. Most of the girls were pleasant, friendly types who were single mums supplementing their incomes or trying to earn enough to take college courses, most had a minder who whisked them off at the end of their act. Big Julie though, was different. When I arrived to set up the manager was busy stacking beer crates underneath the floorboards that made up the stage. When the lady in question brought me her three records I could see why this was so. She was huge but only five foot two. 'Make sure you get these in the right f*****g order', she genteelly crooned at me. It was an eye-opener I can tell you. Unfortunately the curtains got stuck at the conclusion of her undressing and I copped for a mouthful of the most obscene language you could imagine. Ah well, happy days. My part-time work almost cost me my career. Student grants were a big issue and the student body was urging the government to increase them. As part of the campaign somebody fed the Bristol Evening Post information and they printed a story under the headline, 'St Matthias Student Works At City Strip Club To Supplement Grant'. A witchhunt was undertaken by the college authorities to unearth the said student. Much to my relief they all thought it was one of the female members of the college who was divesting herself of clothes, and as they were unable to find a culprit and I escaped their wrath.